Our journey to homeschooling:
I've always heard that a journey begins with a single step, well for me it was more like a giant leap of faith...
Where to begin... it’s a bit of a long story; so we should start at the beginning. A little back history: My children and I are survivors of domestic violence, so our story and what led us to homeschooling is very different from most families.
Initially I hadn’t thought too much about homeschooling mainly because I was married at 20, had my daughter at 22, my son before I was 27 and had been very focused on my babies. Unfortunately life at home was not peaceful for the kids and I. It was chalk full of chaos, turmoil, tension, stress, abuse and life living with an addict. My children's bio-logical father chose his addictions to alcohol and meth over his family which left me in a lurch just trying to survive and keeping the kids safe. It was a nightmare and I am truly so thankful that God helped me escape from a life of domestic abuse, neglect and domestic violence.
For 11 years I was married to my children’s biological father. Shortly after our daughter was born his true colors emerged. He was verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically & physically abusive, controlling, manipulative and a pathological liar. He is the complete definition of a narcisist. To make matters way worse he became addicted to meth & an alcoholic during the latter half of the marriage. As you can imagine it was tortuous and tumultuous for myself and my 2 young kids living in that environment. After 4 years of abuse that kept getting worse daily, I was finally able to flee to safety with the kids and fully became a single parent when my son was 4 years old. I was a full time student at the time and thrown into single parenting while simultaneously working to process and heal not just myself but 2 kiddos from all the horrendous scars and battle wounds left on us emotionally, physically, in our hearts, and minds. It was so much to handle all at once but somehow with God's help we got through it. During this time the kids had their world turned upside down, everything they had known or been accustomed to changed. We moved to a new city and they started attending new schools. It was a lot for all of us to navigate through and we definitely had more rough days than good ones but we made it through to the other side. A year and a half later I had re-met an amazing man I’d known from my childhood and we'd gotten married. After 2 years of having the kids in the public school we decided we would try out a charter school to see if it was a better fit for the kids (they had both dealt with some bullying and other issues in the public school so it hadn’t been the best fit for them, especially since they both had suffered so much already). The charter school was very rigorous academically which proved to really stress our kids out (who each had to skip a grade in math and writing to be in their classes at the charter school). Our daughter typically had 3-4 hours of homework each day after school, lots of homework every weekend and our son had a lot as well. It was just too much, especially considering they were only in elementary school! So, that was the straw that finally broke the camel's back, so to speak and drew us to look into homeschooling.
After our decision to home-school I read every book I could get my hands on that focused on the topic of homeschooling. A few of the most influential and inspiring came from Sarah Mackenzie’s “Teaching From Rest, a Homeschooler’s guide to Unshakable Peace” & Vicki Caruana’s “The Organized Home-Schooler”. Both books brought me lots of insight, tips and encouragement that helped shape how I plan our days, lesson plans and have been very good aides to turn back to throughout my 6 ½ years of homeschooling. One of the most influential and encouraging things I did was to get advice & insight from other home-school mommas who had been in the trenches (so to speak) for several years., most of whom recommended these two books as a great place to help me get my bearings.
Since we took the plunge into homeschooling, I've learned several benefits & tips. Here are some of my insights:
One of the greatest benefits for our family since starting homeschooling has been that we gained back our time with our kids. With everything they've been through because of their biological father it has benefited them so much to have the consistency and safety of home, a learning environment that is conducive to how they learn and the ability to focus on their interests. It has truly made a world of difference for all of us and helped them to soar to new levels in their schooling. Another benefit was gaining back the time that was being lost every day, either with school work, classroom time, bus rides to and from school, etc. Now our days are more structured but include so much more flexibility and freedom in our structured schedule.
A typical day for us begins between 9-9:45am, we usually enjoy taking our time a bit more in the mornings and eating a good breakfast, chatting about our plans for the day and then everyone gets to work. My daughter is in a dual enrolled program as a H.S. Junior and 1st year as a freshmen at our local community college this year, so her work load varies day to day/week to week. She either is working on projects, papers, homework or on a zoom class. Now that she is older, my job is mainly helping her stay on track with her work load, helping her time manage, proofing/helping edit papers and explaining concepts from time to time. My son’s day generally begins with a little bit of journaling then we move into his writing work, spelling and literature before we move onto math. After math we work on social studies/history (we are doing a unit study on government & elections this year to tie into the election coming up), or we work on his science studies (we swap back and forth usually covering one topic every other day. This allows us to spend more time diving into the info we are studying, to include field trips or experiments and other exploration of those topics as we are lead). Next, he spends about 20-30 minutes reading a novel he is reading through and lastly we alternate between art, baking, crafts, field trips and other extracurricular activities as we have them planned.
This type of schedule has worked really well for us as it allows a lot of freedom to switch things around often and to cater to changes in our schedule etc but it also provides both kids with consistency knowing the general schedule, what topics they will be covering and what order to work through them. Our days usually end around 2:30 or 3 but often we are done by 1:30 if my son is able to complete all of his work quickly.
Another benefit we truly love is that we have so much freedom to travel whenever we want! Our family has gone on so many fun adventures together over the past 6 ½ years and have several more trips planned for this school year. We love incorporating things, people or places we are studying into our trips and that we can create wonderful special memories together. It has been one of our biggest highlights and greatest benefits of homeschooling.
I’ve also found that it is so helpful to join a co-op or join a home-school community to connect with other families as a support group and encouragement source. It's been so great to have other mommas to reach out to during a rough day or tricky patch and seek advice, support or just a listening, understanding ear of someone else who is going through similar issues. Another bonus is that it has helped my kids to create some amazing friendships and helps to beat the “stigma” that home-school kids are unsocialized.. ;) My kids also are very involved in their church youth group programs, book clubs, extracurricular activities, have volunteered with several programs at our local library, a veterans home, assisted with organizing a toy drive for underprivileged families & feeding the homeless in our community. They have also been involved with multiple programs like summer camps, summer jobs/volunteer jobs, outdoor school and sports programs. They have actually done more & been involved in more groups since we began homeschooling than we ever had time for before because now we have the flexibility in our schedule that allows for those activities :)
I tend to be more of a delight directed, Charlotte Mason & eclectic style homeschool momma. I make our weekly lesson plans with the mentality that it is more of a guide of where we could go instead of a set plan that I can't veer off of. I like having the flexibility and freedom to shift our plans or throw them out the window if they aren’t working or something more interesting comes on our radar. These approaches/styles let me do just that and have fit our homeschool perfectly.
When I was first starting out one of the best surprises was learning about all the resources there are available now to homeschoolers. There are so many avenues, curriculum choices, teaching methods and learning styles available and so many programs out there that are specifically geared to home-school students. We have benefited so much from learning about distance learning programs in our state that has provided funding for our kids, supplemented their curriculum by offering options we wouldn’t have had access to otherwise, paying for extracurricular activities, field trips, giving us insight, advice and connecting us with other home-school families in our area. It has been one of the greatest blessings for our journey in homeschooling to find this resource. I have been so surprised to learn that most of the distance learning programs are relatively new and not many home-school families know of them. It would be one of my top suggestions to research your city/state to see if distance learning programs for homeschoolers are available (I know Oregon has around 20 options available). 😊
Some tips for those considering homeschooling:
I would suggest considering the benefits of all the freedom(s) available as a home-school family in comparison with that of a public/charter/private school family and weigh the options/benefits to see what will ultimately be the best fit for their child and their family. What fits one family or one child may not always fit the rest. Consider that with homeschooling there is flexibility to alter curriculum choices to best fit each child's unique learning abilities, skills and levels. They will generally have more options and ability to cater to specific talent, gift or skill their child possesses than with traditional public school options and thus be able to provide a school environment for their child(ren) that is catered specifically to their individual needs. The flexibility will also allow them to work their home-school days/times around their schedules, family events, vacations, etc. Both of these have really opened up the world to be the classroom for my kids and helped them to thrive in school.
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| My son at Lake McDonald at Glacier National Park |
extracurricular activities, travel, chances to meet new people and explore new places than we have ever had. Just this last year we were able to travel to Glacier N.P, Yellowstone N.P and the Grand Tetons to observe, study and explore places that we would be studying about this year as part of our science curriculum (Awesome Science, Geological studies). Because we home-school we were able to travel when the parks were mostly empty which really allowed us to have the time to linger at a site we were intrigued with, chat with park rangers and take our time instead of rushing or feeling crowded if we had to travel with the rest of high peak season during normal summer vacation travel times. Another thing I would recommend would be to attend a home-school conference if it's possible, they will provide a chance to listen to excellent speakers, gain insight and perspectives that may not have been considered, have the ability to meet with and chat with several speakers as well as multiple curriculum reps in the curriculum vendor area. This has been so beneficial to me in the past. My first year homeschooling I was fortunate enough to attend a large home-school conference in my home state of Oregon, where I was able to pick up and flip through the curriculum and ask the vendors questions about it, how it would work for my children’s individual needs etc. It was so invaluable to be able to not only see the curriculum in person before purchasing but to have the one on one time with the creators of the curriculum answer my questions and help alleviate my concerns. That really helped me to narrow down which curriculum's to buy and opened my eyes to new options I'd never had heard of before and wouldn’t have known to try.
Lastly I would suggest looking into finding a co-op or some sort of other home-school group or community to join (as I mentioned above). There is so much benefit to having a support system of other like minded families who are in the same boat lifting up and encouraging one another. That was one of the the best choices we made and has helped to shape our home-school journey into a positive experience not only for my kids ( since they have made life long friendships) but for myself as well to have other moms to connect with, call with questions or lean on when I need encouragement or just a girlfriend to chat with.
Happy homeschooling friends!
~K
Affiliate links:
https://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Rest-Homeschoolers-Guide-Unshakable/dp/1600512879
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